Strictly Baby Fight Club

[ukspeedbag]

This come to our screens here in the UK. You'll find it interesting or disturbing. There's 6 parts this is part 1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIhOAwAojSU

My opinion on it, is the parents are living their dreams through their children. Personally I don't believe children should be pushed or forced into a ring. My son Joe, only ever does his bag work at his own will, sometimes he harasses me to get his stuff out. I intend to take him to a boxing gym but if he doesn't like it I'll try him with some martial arts. If he doesn't like that so be it! He will simply carry on as he's doing.

Vini

[metaldad]

I agree with you that children should not be forced into a ring especially at five. I only had time to watch part one of the series and from what I could tell, it seemed like the children were into it and the families were supportive not forcing them, I'm definitely gonna have to watch more. My kids show interest when I work out but they also have very short attention spans, my son in particular, he'll come to join me when I work out and after about 10 seconds he's off to something else. I want to put them all in martial arts and or boxing but they have to have the interest and see it as something fun and enjoyable. I can't force them that's when we lose them.

[Speedbag]

The point of parents living their failed dreams, (or roads not taken) through their children is well taken. I think parents should, first and foremost, lead by example, in both word and deed - expressing their own interests in their own lives and introducing their children to them at an early age. IF the child is interested, great. If not, parents should accept it and respect the individuality of the child, letting them march to their own drum, within reason.

A great violinist would probably introduce his children to music early in life. An Ice Skater to ice skating, and a boxing family to boxing. I'm hoping the boxer would accept the fact that HIS kid might rather use his hands to play the violin, and the violinist would sit ringside to watch his child compete - and both do so without being judgemental. UK, in 5 years if Joey says, "Dad, I sorta like boxing, but I really want to dance like Mikhail Baryshinikov", you'll help him learn to do pirouettes with just as much enthusiasm. Maybe not for yourself, but for him. I'm betting you will.

I am lucky enough to have had an upbringing to let me follow my own dreams within the community that I lived, and reduced budget of my family situation. Where my mother could not afford real drums for many years, she did give me all the coffee cans, pots and pillows I needed to reconstruct fantasy drum sets like I saw in the slingerland drum magazines. She loved sports, but I sucked at most team activities, and she didn't force me to continue playing sports I could have cared less about. I never felt pressured to follow any path but my own, and I believe that is the best way to let kids develop. Unfortunately, I see many kids being forced to do their parents bidding.

[ukspeedbag]

I have to agree with you both. Let's say for example Joe wanted to Tap Dance, if this is what he wants then so be it, if he's happy I'm happy.

Metaldad, when you watch the rest of the videos, you'll get a sense that these kid's don't live a normal kids life. Like you explained about you kid's, when Joe See's me practicing on the speed bag he wants to have ago too, same with my daughter Diaz. Might not last long, but at least they'll have a go and then continue playing.

Alan, I had lot's of different interest's as a kid. My farther sent my brother and myself to a boxing gym but never took any interest himself. Can't remember how long we done it for as we were very young, about 7-8 years old. We lived very close to the gym and went alone without our parents. Probably sent us just to get some peace. I tried out lot's of stuff as a kid, even taking up the violin but, without the support from my parents, I soon lost interest. By 16 I had boxed, done karate, army cadet's played the Violin and Flute. I can never remember being praise by my parents for anything I done. At 21 I took up body building and gained tremendous size. I continued this for 8 years. During this time I even dieted for a competition but due to being in a car crash and had a serious injury, I never got to enter. Not once did my farther say 'You look great'.

I would never make the same mistakes with my children. As a parent I think it's important to know the difference between pushing the kid's to far and encouraging and praising. Joe loves to impress me and that's because I believe in him. Posting his videos on you tube and getting others like yourselves to praise him works well to.

I'll take Joe to a Gym and let him watch other kid's in their training. Hopefully he'll want to take part too. He's only 4 as you know. I think he's a little young yet but I'll know when the time is right for him and I'm sure he'll let me know too.

[metaldad]

Sounds like your dad and mine were drinking buds lol!! God bless you for having the courage and drive to continue on and to not repeat the sad parts of your upbringing with your son

[ukspeedbag]

Sounds like your dad and mine were drinking buds lol!! God bless you for having the courage and drive to continue on and to not repeat the sad parts of your upbringing with your son

lol! Thanks again metaldad. Well, at least my kids will never be able to say the same things about me or their mum.

[metaldad]

lol! Thanks again metaldad. Well, at least my kids will never be able to say the same things about me or their mum.

AMEN to that!! I'm hoping for the same thing

[speedbag4life]

Metaldad, UK, Speedbag, your parenting attitudes are admirable. Like many, I wish my parents had been the same. But do you see any limitations here? Your kids (Metal and UK) are young, so it's good now to encourage them to explore freely. I'd like to submit that there might just be a time and a place to push, and the time is different for each child.

I teach at university, which puts me on the receiving end of all kinds of parenting. One trait that's unmistakable is the lack of direction and motivation in a kid who has never had to stick with anything. It's a terrible disservice to let a teenager flit around from activity to activity, never digging in and learning how much hum-drum practice is required for excellence at anything. The order of the day is "multi-tasking," and this generation prides itself in its ability to handle multiple tasks simultaneously. The flip side is that they have no inkling of what dedication and dogged work are all about. They have no ability to differentiate between excellence and mediocrity, because they've only dabbled superficially at many things, and have never reached beyond the point of mediocrity at any of them. There are definitely exceptions to these statements in the youth of today, and I admit I'm a bit jaded at this point by my exposure to this generation, but truly, the lack of dedication is an insidious problem. I've taught at an open-door university (where all we required for admission was a pulse and a bank account (and I suspect we'd have relaxed the pulse requirement under the right circumstances)), and I've taught at top-notch universities, and I see the trend in both types of places (to different degrees). Lack of dedication (and expectation of an easy ride) is truly, truly a problem.

I realize none of you addressed this issue, and I don't mean to say that anyone would disagree. I only made these comments because I didn't want to let this part of the story go unmentioned. I see the result of overly-open parenting every day, and it's a terrible shame, with much wasted potential lying undeveloped in the younger generation.

Am I wrong to mention this?

[metaldad]

Speedbag4life, I don't see your observation as wrong as much as I see the difference in the kids you're dealing seem to more or less have come from families where the parents either were too busy to be involved or wer too over indulgent of their child's whims. Ukspeedbag and myself are drawing on our past experiences with our parents. My father was a manic depressive alcoholic. He was a brilliant musician, loved history, math and would be glued to Nova and Carl Sagan's Cosmos every week as well as Star Trek lol. However his methods of dealing with me(his only son) could be flat out abusive. Now this is not to say I didn't learn anything from him, but it was always based on fear. Fear that if I f---ed up WHOA BOY!! As a result of this I would always lose interest in certain things. For example, at age six my father commanded that I learn trumpet, brass and woodwinds were his instruments of choice and again he was VERY good with them, however when it came to me learning any of it, it felt more like punishment instead of a lesson, and the point I'm getting at is it shouldn't be that way with OUR kids.
No we don't want ot be completely lax with them and let them go willy nilly, but forcing them only pushes them away. This is an interesting conversation because I just read an article in Black Belt magazine by Keith Vargo that talks about the difference between an [I]Authoritative[I] parent and an Authoritarian parent. Where my father was more Authoritarian , I'm trying to be the complete opposite. I know I won't get it right every time but s long the kids show an interest all I can do is guide them and not force them. My oldest daughter is 5 and she's been into bowling. She just completed her second season and is really excited that she graduated from bumpers. The key thing is she's excited and looks forward to it. All I can do is help keep her motivated and not let her quit. Sorry for the long winded post I hope I made some sort of sense

[ukspeedbag]

Hiya speedbag4life. I'm in total agreement with metaldad. As a child I remember my father sitting at home in front of the box smoking his fags. He didn't have any hobbies or interests so maybe that's why he didn't show much in mine.
Metaldad nailed it when he says to motivate and not let them quit. My daughter Diaz, goes to ballet and loves it. Each year she gets excited about her annual stage shows at the local theater. I show my appreciation and how proud I am by buying her a bouquet of flowers which I give to her after the show. No need to be pushy there. There have been occasions when she's told her mum she don't want to carry on. Alls I have to do is remind her how proud we are. She's soon motivated again.
Joe and Diaz love to please and impress, probably because they love my reaction and praises. Today they finished school and have spent about 3 hrs on the speedbag on and off. Joe just told me he's getting up bright and early tomorrow and he's going to practice all day long. lol What I'm getting at is, by showing some interest, motivating and praising is all it takes. Forcing or yelling at my kid's will be the wrong thing to do. Hope this make sense too.

[speedbag4life]

Hey Metaldad and UKSpeedbag, thanks for your replies. Everything you said makes perfect sense. It'd be great if more parents raised their children that way. Thanks for being the way you are.

And you're right, Metaldad. Many of the "lost" ones I encounter have never had much personal attention from their parents. It's painful to see the result of that.

[Speedbag]

.... Many of the "lost" ones I encounter have never had much personal attention from their parents. It's painful to see the result of that.

My wife is a math teacher and sees the exact same thing. Many of her students are stuck in either Grandma or some relatives home, because their parents lost custody or are in custody. (as in: jail). Their entire world of MOST of these kids is instant gratification - and get what they want the easy way.

They will focus for hours on things they like or are attracted to, just not much that is useful. Her kids can figure out how to download youtube video's to an ipod, convert it to an MP3 and text it to their friends, but they won't spend 15 minutes learning how to add fractions. Many will never even contemplate the level of math that SB4life deals with. (OK. I can't either...)

Speed bag (at the level most of us aspire to...) takes a little concentration and practice. Like most things, If it is FUN and they have loving parents that will encourage and work WITH them, they can excel at amazing rates. No doubt metaldad and UK will have very young speed bag masters.

[metaldad]

My wife is a math teacher and sees the exact same thing. Many of her students are stuck in either Grandma or some relatives home, because their parents lost custody or are in custody. (as in: jail). Their entire world of MOST of these kids is instant gratification - and get what they want the easy way.

.

Man how absolutely sad but TRUE that is!